Art With a Purpose

Moving On

2010-08-31T08:39:00.000-05:00

Three Times the Cream 11" x 14" oil

Well, the last month has been very painful. I spent the first few weeks of August dreading taking Pinkberry, the youngest child, to big SEC college in another state. Then the time came and we got in the car, all loaded up, and drive her to school. I put up a good front, but was holding back feelings on the inside.

We moved her in, and I had to pull Freebird Man away as he just wanted to keep helping her set her things up in the tiniest dorm room I have ever seen. We walked out of the dorm, caught the bus to our car and I did just fine until we got away from people and into our car and then I just lost it. Cried for a while. My sweet husband just held me while I let go. Life isn't the same. Doesn't mean it's worse, it's just different.

I've yet to process all the feelings because I have been keeping myself very busy. That is a sign that I'm not really feeling yet. Or maybe I spent all my feelings on dread and what I am left with is actually good. I like being able to come and go as I please. I kinda remember this from pre-children days.

The painting at the top of the page is the one I worked on for 6 weeks in an oil painting class - the class I've waited for about 6 months to be able to get into. I jumped at the chance to take it only to realize it was the 6 weeks around the youngest going to college. Every time I look at this painting, which is the best work I've done in oil yet, I'll think of the varied emotions surrounding it. Kinda strange - the painting is so peaceful yet I feel great overwhelm, but in a good way. It is a reminder of where I was during this time period and I am ultimately glad I did the class.

I do look forward to painting without all the extra emotions going on. Although, maybe that's why this painting is so good! Life indeed teaches when we least expect it.

School Supplies in the Desert

2010-07-27T09:21:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was wandering through Target picking up a few things and I found myself in the school supplies section. Without children.

What an odd sensation. It felt foreign. So this is what it's like to have grown children.

As I walked down the lunch box aisle, I remembered what it was like to have 3 little girls all excitedly looking at new lunchboxes, trying to find the perfect one; and all gathering around to show me what they wanted at the same time. Then there were the lists of necessary items and the waiting as each child searched through all the available colors of notebooks to pick out the exact color for each class.

No more.

This is the beginning of a new phase in my life - I won't be purchasing new lunch boxes, thermoses, sandwich baggies, pencils, notebooks, crayons, markers, or paper. My children are now beyond this phase of life. And so am I.

It was rather bittersweet.

The painting above is from a monthly painting challenge that was a picture of a desert. That's kinda how I feel right now - out in the desert. It was lonely on that lunch box aisle. I grieved the change of life's seasons.

I know there is a newness awaiting me in this phase. I don't know what it will look like, who I will meet, or where I will go. All I know is that all my life to this point has prepared me for it.

And I thank God for the memories : )

Put one Foot in Front of the Other...

2010-07-07T14:12:00.000-05:00

I know a journey involves many things, but mine seems to be stalling in the “evaluation of what to do next” phase.

I have been reading several books on SEO and marketing lately. The information is not really new, I am just stalling on actually putting into practice the advice they are offering. Could I be afraid of success? Quite possibly.

So I decided to take a little action and see how I feel about it. Again.

Seems like I keep taking these little actions, which is how I got my new website (www.npbstudios.com) up and going, and when looking back on my decisions it shows that I don’t really know where I’m headed. Isn’t that the truth?!…

But it is kinda painful to look at the trail of blogs & websites I’ve done half-way; some focused on jewelry, some focused on art, and now I've moved content from one to the other to try to get it the way I think I want it!

I keep trying new ideas to see what fits with who I am and how I really want to spend my time.

So just what is God calling me to do? I have to come to terms that if God is calling me to be an artist, that is truly where I will be most happy and fulfilled. So…

Last night I attended an already-paid-for webinar on marketing an online store. I guess I was hoping for this big revelation of a direction for my various creative adventures.

I see all the marketing outlets & how to get them going; however, I started my Etsy store just to bring in a little income since selling artwork is REALLY slow in this economy. Smaller dollar items are selling better than large works of art.

The reality is that I really like doing art and don’t really want to eat up my painting time with making and marketing my jewelry.

After the webinar, I took a first step towards keeping my online presence focused – I created a new blog just for Green Dot Gifts. The jewelry for sale will be located on Etsy; I'm not up to dealing with a shopping cart just yet on a new site!

This website will deal with art and launching children out of this nest.

Focus…focus….focus….

Did I mention I was contacted early this week by a boutique owner, who found Green Dot Gifts jewelry on Etsy, and contacted me to inquire about carrying my sorority and fraternity jewelry in her new boutique in another state?

So God, just what direction to you have in mind for me??

to be continued….

Moving Forward

2010-07-07T13:58:00.002-05:00

Now that all my kids have officially graduated from High School, I have all the free time I dreamed about. Since they were born, I have been know as ____’s Mother. Now the people I will meet will not come via the school, PTO, drama club, band, or cheer-leading.

The real question is – how am I going to relate to the world? What am I to do with all this new found time?

It’s probably a bit like being unemployed – you don’t know where to go or what to do with your time yet you long to be productive. Contributing to the betterment of society produces a feeling of satisfaction that is unparalleled.

My current attempt to stay sane during this transition has been my new Etsy site, Green Dot Gifts.

For Pinkberry’s graduation, I made all her friends these cool mixed metal, hand stamped necklaces and keychains. They turned out so well, I photographed them & opened a new shop on Etsy to see what happened.

I actually got orders!

Then I took a 2 week break around Graduation and let’s just say it’s hard to start going again. You can see some examples of items in the sidebar.

I also am applying for several art shows in the fall; will post here when I have more definite information. Art shows give me something to work towards and a deadline – 2 very important things in the life of a creative!

(originally posted June 7, 2010 on another site)

Significant Sunday

2010-07-07T13:43:00.000-05:00

I started thinking about my artistic talents...

Just yesterday I was bemoaning how I am struggling to know what to do with the specific set of gifts and interests God has blessed me with.

What I realized was that I have been trying to get good enough at SOMETHING (oil, acrylics, watercolor, cooking, papermaking, jewelry making, cosmetic making...) to replace the significance I lost when I left the knitting world. After 20 years of knitting, I could do anything knit-related and was a respected expert in knitting circles. No more knitting after my shoulder injury.

The problem is with all these new creative ventures, I can't be 20-years-worth good right now.

Therefore every time I relied on a new painting to elevate my importance or validate my existence, it left me depressed. Those are things I was using in place of God to find myself and define who I am.

No wonder I have been depressed so much lately! My significance needs to be defined in Him, because all these other things aren't working for me!

So now I can thank God for allowing me to overuse and damage my left arm so I can't knit anymore. And I can thank Him for my creative abilities; I just need to start asking for some direction...

(originally posted April 26, 2009 on another site)

Old Feelings, New Direction

2010-07-07T13:39:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd write about today before it got away; like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...

I was still tired from yesterday, when I painted with my Friday Painting group.

As I was waiting for something to finish cooking, I sat down in the library (right by the kitchen) and worked some on the jigsaw puzzle, utterly depressed. My husband came upstairs to get a snack and I was able to talk through all the negativity I was feeling about my art.

I have been trying to oil paint for almost a year now and I'm not really getting that much better. I know lots of information and rules in my head about how to make the canvas look like whatever I'm painting, but something's not right.

The Friday oil painting class I am taking currently is really good for me. Perhaps more for exposing myself to new people as to new painting techniques. Yesterday I began to feel more part of the group and began to see people in new ways.

However, my painting still didn't measure up to the standards I have set for myself. And when some of the other group members' paintings looked fantastic, I got really depressed. They just do this on Fridays. I paint EVERY DAY. Something is just not fair about all this!

And today I was working on a good pity party about it all, too. I am beginning to wonder if plein air painting is just not my thing. When I look at my plein air paintings, I don't like what I see, even if the form is rendered correctly. I am looking at a journal of my feelings, and they are painful! I have also discovered I am more nervous knowing a teacher will come around and "correct" what I am doing wrong. It rather locks me up artistically.

I do wonder if God is encouraging me to try another form of painting. I like still life painting, and I have some completed ones that I really like. It's done in a safe place - in my studio. And there is no one around to "correct" me.

Today when Pinkberry and I were touring the Art Institute, I LOVED the student work around the color wheel. There was a flower made with about 10-12 different gum packages used as petals, each representing a different color on the color wheel.

They also had a series of the same photo of a girls face done in 12 pure colors lined up in spectrum order. My creative juices started going! There were also a few modern/abstract paintings I really liked - they had lots of texture and color.

Makes me want to get out my acrylics and mediums and start getting it on canvas! I have wanted to try taking an outdoor photo and painting the shapes and then totally abstracting them. I think that would be more my style of painting. It would be more fun and less fussy than this serious oil stuff.

I think I am finding a new direction.

(originally posted April 25, 2009 on another site)

Creativity in All Things

2010-07-03T15:20:00.000-05:00

I now have successfully coaxed my grown daughters into starting their own blogs and they are teaching me things about the options for these things already! Kids and technology...

That is why this blog looks different; one daughter showed me how to change the design on the blog and voila! Here is the result of not having painting as a creative outlet! I have also reorganized and cleaned up my studio, and inventoried paints and reordered. I am ready to paint! I also canned 11 jars of pickles...but that's another story.

Next time I will post the latest paintings!

Oh how I miss my Studio!

2010-06-09T08:41:00.000-05:00

It has been an eventful spring - child graduating, major health issues, flood in Nashville... I haven't been able to paint for almost 2 months! I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel though, and I am looking forward to good times in my studio in the coming weeks : )