I started thinking about my artistic talents...
Just yesterday I was bemoaning how I am struggling to know what to do with the specific set of gifts and interests God has blessed me with.
What I realized was that I have been trying to get good enough at SOMETHING (oil, acrylics, watercolor, cooking, papermaking, jewelry making, cosmetic making...) to replace the significance I lost when I left the knitting world. After 20 years of knitting, I could do anything knit-related and was a respected expert in knitting circles. No more knitting after my shoulder injury.
The problem is with all these new creative ventures, I can't be 20-years-worth good right now.
Therefore every time I relied on a new painting to elevate my importance or validate my existence, it left me depressed. Those are things I was using in place of God to find myself and define who I am.
No wonder I have been depressed so much lately! My significance needs to be defined in Him, because all these other things aren't working for me!
So now I can thank God for allowing me to overuse and damage my left arm so I can't knit anymore. And I can thank Him for my creative abilities; I just need to start asking for some direction...
(originally posted April 26, 2009 on another site)
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