Moving On

Three Times the Cream  11" x 14" oil

Well, the last month has been very painful.  I spent the first few weeks of August dreading taking Pinkberry, the youngest child, to big SEC college in another state.  Then the time came and we got in the car, all loaded up, and drive her to school. I put up a good front, but was holding back feelings on the inside.

We moved her in, and I had to pull Freebird Man away as he just wanted to keep helping her set her things up in the tiniest dorm room I have ever seen.  We walked out of the dorm, caught the bus to our car and I did just fine until we got away from people and into our car and then I just lost it.  Cried for a while.  My sweet husband just held me while I let go.  Life isn't the same.  Doesn't mean it's worse, it's just different.

I've yet to process all the feelings because I have been keeping myself very busy.  That is a sign that I'm not really feeling yet.  Or maybe I spent all my feelings on dread and what I am left with is actually good.  I like being able to come and go as I please.  I kinda remember this from pre-children days. 

The painting at the top of the page is the one I worked on for 6 weeks in an oil painting class - the class I've waited for about 6 months to be able to get into.  I jumped at the chance to take it only to realize it was the 6 weeks around the youngest going to college.  Every time I look at this painting, which is the best work I've done in oil yet, I'll think of the varied emotions surrounding it.  Kinda strange - the painting is so peaceful yet I feel great overwhelm, but in a good way.  It is a reminder of where I was during this time period and I am ultimately glad I did the class. 

I do look forward to painting without all the extra emotions going on.  Although, maybe that's why this painting is so good!  Life indeed teaches when we least expect it.